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Trimark Pictures presents
Arthur: Tell him.
DVD ReviewLeprechaun first opened in 1993,
Reminding us what fun shlock horror can be.
It told the story of a Leprechaun, demonic and old,
Back from the grave on a quest for his gold.
Within the myth of this old Irish story,
Take a leprechaun's gold and your death will be gory.
And just when I think the film can't get worse,
The evil sprite speaks, but only in verse.
So to honor the little guy, short and green,
I thought a review all in rhyme would be keen!
Leprechaun one and two made some money,
So they made three, but this time, it's funny!
The scary has been traded for camp and gore,
Because really, watching bad horror's a chore.
To keep things fresh for our Mr. Greeno,
This third film was set in a Vegas Casino.
Once again, gold's been stolen from the man with top billing,
And thus, we quickly commence with the killing.
Our unwitting star goes by the name Scott.
On his way to college, he picks up a girl (she's hot).
He offers a lift to get her to work.
Like she'd ever date him, a poindexter. Snerk.
It seems she works as a sideshow magician,
A Vegas career's been a lifelong ambition.
The girl sneaks Scott in to see where people bet,
Soon he's lost his tuition for college and yet
To win it all back, his watch he will pawn,
He crosses the street as the story moves on.
Anywho, somehow the leprechaun shows,
Bites the man who stole his gold on the nose.
It turns out the pawnbroker tried to take the elf's bread,
But who cares, because quickly, that guy is dead.
Our hero unwitting snatches a pence,
And from this point on, the film makes little sense.
The gold is magic, granting every need,
Be it sex, or power, or big boobs, or greed.
The leprechaun kills everyone who touches his shilling,
I guess he finds all this murder fufilling.
The rest of the film is lyrical tale,
Best enjoyed after you drink lots of ale.
It's difficult to say why I enjoyed this filmed slop;
Once I began watching, I just could not stop.
The acting is good as horror films go
(Read: some people are fine, but most of them blow).
Though the direction is even, but clearly B-grade,
The filmmakers got lemons but produced lemonade.
By giving the film a satirical slant,
They made it hard to critique (I sure can't).
Sure, the plot of the thing is inane,
But for that, really, who is to blame?
It's about a leprechaun killer, for heavens sake,
How much analysis does that really take?
It's corny and stupid, but still somehow fun.
Ok, I'll stop rhyming, just put down that gun.
Rating for Style: C-
Rating for Substance: C+
Image Transfer Review:
Leprechaun 3 premiered on video first,
So calm down if you think pan & scan is the worst.
The full-frame image is passable, but some areas lack
The colors are bland and washed out, especially the black.
It tends towards the gray, and dark scenes show some grain,
Watching the night scenes becomes quite a pain.
The artifacts only pop up on fine textures,
Like ugly plaid shirts, but that's just conjecture.
Image Transfer Grade: C-
Audio Transfer Review:
The audio is billed as "ultra surround,"
But it certainly won't be shaking the ground.
The front soundstage is where the effects can be heard,
The dialogue is clear, you can hear every word.
Unfortunately, the music sounds harsh and tinny,
As do the sound effects - flat and wimpy.
The variety is lacking, no whiz-bang pop fun;
Overall a bland track, but it gets the job done.
Audio Transfer Grade: C
Disc ExtrasFull Motion menu with music
Scene Access with 24 cues and remote access
Subtitles/Captions in English, Spanish, French with remote access
1 Original Trailer(s)
Extras Review: Since this film was released straight to tape,
The sole extra's a trailer in fair to good shape.
Subtitles in English, French, Spanish there be
For the tri-lingual fans of Leprechaun 3.
Extras Grade: D-
If you are a fan of horror cheese, this leprechaun is sure to please.
Turn on the player; relax your brain. Watch him inflict some elfin pain.
So what if the plot is all over the place? At least it ain't Leprechaun 4: In Space.
If you hate it, don't get up in arms. Now where'd I put me Lucky Charms?
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