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Eclectic DVD presents
The Perv Parlor (Unknown)

Willy: This Perv Parlor place sounds perfect. If we could get Lilly down there, i'm sure we could open her eyes to the kind of pleasure she's been missing.

Jack Crack: And hopefully a bit more than her eyes!

- Grover Johns, Big Al Milliner

Review By: Robert Edwards   
Published: August 24, 2003

Stars: Bruce Brand, Baine Watson, Alfred Earnest, Alison Leary
Other Stars: Grover Johns, Sharon White, Simon Marks
Director: Josh Collins, John Grover

MPAA Rating: Not Rated for (animated sex scenes, giant rubber sex organs, general filth)
Run Time: 01h:08m:29s
Release Date: August 26, 2003
UPC: 022891104292
Genre: cult

Image Transfer
Audio Transfer
B- C-C-B B-

DVD Review

A boy who is "almost five" (played by an adult) sits alone and bored in his toy-stuffed room. Riffling through the porn mags in his "rumpy pumpy" chest, he finds a spell book, and decides magic is the best way to get into his nanny's knickers. But the spell goes horribly wrong, and he, and we the viewers are propelled into Condomtown, the seat of the English empire, during the reign of Queen Victoria.

Meet Mr. Percival Columns (Alfred Earnest), who desperately desires vanilla sex with his "fiancy" Lavinia Lickwell (Alison Leary), whose motto is "the weirder the better." And Mr. Willy Wipebottom (Grover Johns), whose wife Lilly (Sharon White) refuses to put out at all. And let's not forget Professor Rumphole Pump (Bruce Brand) and his assistant Nursey Watty (Baine Watson). The good prof is trying to understand the notorious Pervomorphus (Simon Marks) and his evil creation the Perv Parlor—a club of less than ill repute, which exists outside of time, and has no fixed location—in order to destroy it.

But the rest of the characters have no wish to see the Perv Parlor go away. Lavinia, in her search for kinkier encounters, visits (after making love to her hand maid Rosy Cheeks [Babzotica]) and is treated to a "Grecian Odyssey," complete with giant-penised satyr. Willy is convinced that a trip to the Perv Parlor will loosen up his wife, and even the good doctor might find something interesting there.

Will Percy and Liviana reconcile their differences? Will Willy's plan work? Will the good Professor succeed in destroying the evil Perv Parlor? Well, frankly, who cares? The plot is just an excuse for a succession of bizarre, sometimes humorous scenes with characters in giant rubber penises and boobs the size of small cars (although not at the same time). There is lots of hard-core sex, but it's all done with grotesque little dolls in stop-motion animation, so about the most revealing this weird little movie gets is a shot of a naked butt. Perhaps the most creative element of the film is the exteriors and shots above Condomtown, all of which are done with an amazing selection of tacky miniatures and models, featuring some of the funniest deliberately bad stop-motion animation ever.

So if you enjoyed the likes of Pervirella, or are a fan of cheesy low-budget garage band-fueled sex romps, you'll love The Perv Parlor. If not, buy Doctor Zhivago instead.

Rating for Style: B-
Rating for Substance: C-


Image Transfer

Aspect Ratio1.66:1 - Widescreen
Original Aspect Ratioyes

Image Transfer Review: How do you review the transfer of an film that claims to be "Kodak Eastman" (NOT "Eastman Kodak") but looks like it was really recorded in Pixelvision? The image is constantly plagued by blockiness and lines that looks to be the result of digital conversion from a low-resolution format, although this is less bothersome on smaller TVs. The colors are okay (just), but all in all, the sleaziness of the film is matched by the sleaziness of the transfer.

Image Transfer Grade: C-


Audio Transfer

 LanguageRemote Access

Audio Transfer Review: The dialogue is all post-synched and was probably pretty low fidelity to begin with, but it comes through clearly and cleanly. The PCM audio allows full enjoyment of the deliberately grungy songs.

Audio Transfer Grade: B


Disc Extras

Static menu
Scene Access with 10 cues and remote access
Cast and Crew Biographies
1 Other Trailer(s) featuring Pervirella
Packaging: Keep Case
Picture Disc
1 Disc
1-Sided disc(s)
Layers: single

Extra Extras:
  1. The Frat Shack Shakedown
  2. Printed insert with history of The Frat Shack
Extras Review: The Frat Shack is a group of promoters who have been putting on what look to be really fun club nights in various venues in and around London since 1989, and there's a lot of info about the group included in the extras. Josh Collins gives a general overview and history of the Frat Shack and its shows in the printed insert, and there are a couple of text screens listing every club night they've hosted until 1998. There's also a five-screen text biography of Josh Collins, apparently ported over from the Pervirella disc, since it mentions an extra that's included on that disk and not this one.

The primary bonus here is the Frat Shack Shakedown, a 55m:18s compilation of various bands that have played Frat Shack gigs over the years, interspersed with more goofy stop-motion animation, found footage, and general silliness. Eleven bands strut their stuff here, some of them actually pretty good, including the surfy girlpop of Lightning Beatman, the garage psychedelia of Vibrasonic, and Clique, who would comfortably fit on a double bill with The Velvet Underground.

There's also a one-page text screen and the amusing trailer for Pervirella. In common with that disc, the menus are painfully slow to navigate, and where this navigation is actually going to end up is at times conterintuitive.

Extras Grade: B-


Final Comments

It's cheesy, it's sleazy, it's sexploitationafabulous. Fans of giant rubber penises and breasts the size of small cars, here's the film you've been waiting for! Crank up the soundtrack, groove to the low-fi garage bands, and watch in amazement—but be sure you have copious amounts of alcohol on hand.


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