11/23/2014  
What If on DVD & Blu-ray Nov 25Hart To Hart: Season 3 on DVD Dec 9The Simpsons: Season 17 on DVD & Blu-ray Dec 2Robin Williams Remembered - Pioneers of Television on DVD Dec 2Kung Fu Girl / Whiplash on DVD Dec 2Broad City: Season 1 on DVD Dec 2Roger Corman's Masque of Red Death on DVD Nov 25

follow us on twitter

dOc on facebook

NE News Editor

'SNL's' Michael Che talks Bill Cosby: 'I forgave Kramer...
What If on DVD & Blu-ray Nov 25...
Hart To Hart: Season 3 on DVD Dec 9...
Beyonce Debuts Music Video ... Suck It Iggy, J.Lo and K...
'Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1' Renews Heated Polit...

JB Joseph Burke

The Answer to American Idol's Problems Is......
CONCRETE BLONDES...
CREAM FAREWELL CONCERT...
JACK REACHER...
MANBORG...

CA Chuck Aliaga

THE ATTACK (BLU-RAY)...
CRYSTAL FAIRY & THE MAGICAL CACTUS (BLU-RAY)...
THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE (BLU-RAY)...
AIN'T IN IT FOR MY HEALTH: A FILM ABOUT LEVON HELM (BLU...
THE LADY (BLU-RAY)...

JS Jesse Shanks

2 BROKE GIRLS...
KATT WILLIAMS: KATTPACALYPSE...
NORMAN MAILER: THE AMERICAN...
DARK SHADOWS: THE GREATEST EPISODES COLLECTION - FAN FA...
JACK KEROUAC - KING OF THE BEATS...

MZ Mark Zimmer

Take Part in a Film Restoration...
STORAGE WARS: SEASON ONE...
LOST KEATON...
BLACK NARCISSUS (BLU-RAY)...
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE MOTION PICTURE TRILOGY (BLU-...

JD Jon Danziger

SUNSET BOULEVARD...
TABLOID...
CUL-DE-SAC...
3 WOMEN...
BASEBALL'S GREATEST GAMES: 1986 WORLD SERIES GAME 6...

RJ Ross Johnson

THE DEVIL'S NEEDLE AND OTHER TALES OF VICE AND REDEMPTI...
THE TROUBLE WITH TOLSTOY...
HISTORY OF THE WORLD IN TWO HOURS...
ANATOMY OF A MURDER...
COLD SWEAT...

RR Rich Rosell

LONDON TO BRIGHTON...
AFTER.LIFE...
MYSTERY TRAIN (BLU-RAY)...
NIGHT TRAIN TO MUNICH...
THE NATURAL (BLU-RAY)...

JC Joel Cunningham

WINGS OF DESIRE...
A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS...
MONSOON WEDDING...
PIERROT LE FOU...
SMALLVILLE: THE COMPLETE EIGHTH SEASON...

MS Matt Serafini

THE STEPFATHER...
THE HILLS RUN RED...
MANAGEMENT...
NIGHT OF DEATH...
GNAW...

DH Dan Heaton

NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS...
THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE...

DD Dale Dobson

Film-Fest 4: Sundance 2000 & Hawaii...

JU Jeff Ulmer

THE WALTONS: THE COMPLETE 9TH SEASON...

RM Robert Mandel

Saving Private Ryan...

Share: email   Print      Technorati.gif   StumbleUpon.gif   MySpace   digg.gif delicious.gif   google.gif   magnolia.gif   facebook.gif
Permalink: Permalink.gif



Buy from Amazon

Buy from Amazon.com

Retromedia presents
Teenage Cavegirl (2004)

"She looks positively prehistoric!"
- Richard (Alexandre Boisvert)

Review By: Rich Rosell   
Published: November 23, 2004

Stars: Jezebelle Bond
Other Stars: Evan Stone, Nicole Sheridan, Alexandre Boisvert, Kennedy Johnston, Lesle Zen, Jay Richardson
Director: Nicholas Medina

MPAA Rating: Not Rated for (nudity, sexuality)
Run Time: 01h:14m:32s
Release Date: November 16, 2004
UPC: 014381266429
Genre: late night


Style
Grade
Substance
Grade
Image Transfer
Grade
Audio Transfer
Grade
Extras
Grade
C+ C-BB- D

DVD Review

Teenage Cavegirl, from the prolific B-movie maestro Fred Olen Ray (operating here under his Nicholas Medina alter ego), is really just a series of lengthy sex scenes interrupted by the loosest of loose plots. The story, about alleged cavegirl Tahra (Jezebelle Bond) leaping through a magical portal to land in modern-day Bronson Canyon, is simply an excuse to pile on assorted sexual couplings and encounters between attractive actors. Now, normally that's not something I would necessarily consider a negative, but in the case of Teenage Cavegirl I was struck by how this was constructed more like a a traditional porn title than like a B-movie.

Again, not necessarily a negative if you happen to be looking for porn, but with Teenage Cavegirl, the prolonged sexcapades are of the not-quite-explicit variety. The B-movie stuff, something that Fred Olen Ray normally can deliver with free-flowing exuberance, has been replaced by what seems to be a shift towards less storytelling and more sex. Yes, we can tell they are supposed to be having sex, and it sure looks like they are all joined together in orgiastic bliss, but in this particular not-quite-porn genre the acts don't feature any actual merging of naughty bits, and camera angles are such that actions are implied without being seen, so one is left watching what is essentially porn without all the detail.

There are glimmers of low-rent good stuff here, from Tahra's absorbing of television commercials to the wacky antics of Jay Richardson as an evil scientist out to use the title character for evil purposes, but these moments come across more as filler in between bouts of well-choreographed sex. As much as the purely prurient side of me enjoyed seeing Jezebelle Bond and Kennedy Johnston cavorting together in a bubble bath, the sex just seemed like it was plopped in so that Fred Olen Ray could check off yet another combination of sex partners on some imaginary checklist.

It seems that if you want actual porn, something like Teenage Cavegirl will be a disappointment. And it also seems that if you were looking for a sexy but campy B-movie from one of the great genre directors, you will also be in for a disappointment because the focus on long sex scenes featuring all combination of partners overshadows the ability for any kind of story to develop properly.

Rating for Style: C+
Rating for Substance: C-

 

Image Transfer

 One
Aspect Ratio1.33:1 - Full Frame
Original Aspect Ratioyes
Anamorphicno


Image Transfer Review: The transfer from digital video is very bright and vivid for what is essentially a low-budget sex flick, with strong colors and evenly rendered fleshtones. Translation is that the frequent nudity looks darn good.

Image Transfer Grade: B

 

Audio Transfer

 LanguageRemote Access
DS 2.0Englishno


Audio Transfer Review: There's nothing to go ga-ga about, but the clean 2.0 stereo track is presentable without being remarkably stellar. All of the dialogue, panting, and moaning sounds perfectly fine. But you're not watching this to give your sound system a workout, are you?

Audio Transfer Grade: B-

 

Disc Extras

Static menu with music
Scene Access with 6 cues and remote access
Packaging: Amaray
Picture Disc
1 Disc
1-Sided disc(s)
Layers: single

Extra Extras:
  1. Stills Gallery
Extras Review: The only extra is an automated Stills Gallery consisting of thirteen images, made up of production photos and behind-the-scenes shots.

The disc is cut into six chapters.

Extras Grade: D

 

Final Comments

Attractive nude women and nearly-explicit sex are the selling points here. As much as I love Fred Olen Ray, I can only see how this might serve to pass the time on late night pay-cable, not necessarily as something that someone might actually seek and out and purchase.

That's another story entirely.

 


Back to top

Search 10,000+ titles:

or Advanced Search

DVD REVIEW ARCHIVE


Get FREE Shipping on all orders at TimeLife.com! - 120x90

 



Microsoft Store

Keywords

television, saturday night live, michael che, bill cosby, cameron diaz, comedy, music, beyonce, 7/11, american music awards, sunday, movie, hunger games: mockingjay-part 1, danny strong, christian toto, john nolte, sarah seltzer, documentary, action, foo fighters, beat the bots tour, 2015, sonic highways, fenway park in boston, wrigley field in chicago, citi field in new york, rfk stadium in washington d.c., chris pratt, guardians of the galaxy, dave chappelle, shailene woodley, ansel elgort, steve carell, michael sam, celebrity, judi dench, esio trot, bbc, philomena, dustin hoffman, richard curtis, horror, sci-fi, james bond, christoph waltz, daniel craig, ralph fiennes, ben whishaw, naomie harris, miley cyrus, patrick schwarzenegger, adore you, arnold schwarzenegger, maria schriver, family, the big bang theory, mrs. wolowitz, carol ann susi, breast cancer, jennifer actress, plunging neckline, movies, christopher nolan, big hero 6, interstellar, gone girl, st. vincent, andy dick, arrested, tmz, stolen necklace

On Kindle!
On Facbook!
digitallyOBSESSED!
digitallyOBSESSED!
Promote Your Page Too

Visit:

Zarabesque.com

earth mosaics

Original Magic Dress.com

Susti Heaven

DVD Marketplace

Snappy Planet

Become a Reviewer | Search | Review Vault | Reviewers
Readers | Webmasters | Privacy | Contact
Microsoft Store