Creepshow III (2007)
"Ok, I get it about the ball, I won't throw it again! You can stop now!"- Alice (Stephanie Pettee)
Stars: Roy Abramsohn, Kris Allen, Magi Avila
Other Stars: A.J. Bowen, Elwood Carlisle, Ed Dyer, Bunny Gibson, Bo Kresic, Camille Lacey, Elina Madison, Emmett McGuire, Stephanie Pettee, Cara Cameron, Ryan Carty
Director: Ana Clavell, James Dudelson
MPAA Rating: R for (bloody horror violence and gore, language, some drug use and sexual material)
Run Time: 01h:44m:15s
Release Date: 2007-05-15
DVD ReviewWhile not exactly a burgeoning franchise, the first two Creepshow films were solid genre efforts, with the first one arguably a horror classic. Creepshow 2 was unleashed way back in 1987, and, while not as good as the first movie, it stayed true to the former's campy horror nature. Now, 20 years later, a third entry is upon us; unfortunately, this direct-to-DVD effort is a travesty for both fans of the series and the genre as a whole.
It's blatantly obvious from the opening animation sequence that what we're about to witness is a total mess. At first, it's difficult to tell whether the filmmakers are trying to be campy or if the over-the-top amateur acting and pedestrian stories are just that bad. There are countless moments that will make you cringe, but they don't come as a result of gross-out special effects or creepy ghoul. Instead, the cringing stems from bottom-of-the-barrel effects sequences and flubbed line delivery. Amazingly, actors simple stumble through their lines, proving the producers are so cheap they never allowed even a second take for a given scene. The result is truly unbelievable dreck for a film distributed by a high-class studio, regardless of its direct-to-DVD tag.
The first story involves Alice (Stephanie Pettee), a schoolgirl who continues to relive the same "scene" in her life over and over, albeit with a different family each time. Soon Alice's body begins to decay, rendering her unrecognizable. This rip-off of Click (the catalyst of the tale appears to be a "magic" remote control) never has a chance to get going because, really, none of the story elements make any sense. The twist at the end of this segment is truly laughable, and even more illogical than the preceding 10 minutes.
Next we meet Jerry (AJ Bowen), a security guard who gets an old radio with a life of its own. This female-voiced (Cara Cameron) device is soon commanding Jerry to commit heinous acts, and the result of this tale is at least a bit more satisfying. The third story shows us right away that Rachael (Camille Lacey) is the "Call Girl Killer," but the gruesome twist in this one comes when a client named Victor (Ryan Carty) has cruel intentions of his own.
Segment Four takes us into the home of Professor Dayton (Emmett McGuire), who is visited by a pair of former students that meet his seemingly robotic fiancée (Bo Kresic). Unfortunately, the filmmakers play this entirely for laughs, and the two boys are soon chopping this beauty to bits to expose her "parts" while the annoying, inappropriately cheery music rambles on. The final tale involves the worst doctor of all time, at least as far as people skills go. Dr. Farwell (Kris Allen) is rude to and yells at virtually everyone he comes into contact with, including his patients. If the Alice story at the beginning is incomprehensable, this finale is even more muddled and filled with inconsistencies.
It's difficult to determine whether these stories are supposed to be even somewhat intertwined, or if the budget was so low that actors played multiple roles to save a few bucks. That's the least of the film's problems, though, as there's never any hope, thanks to the ultra-cheesy opening credits, bad animation, and sorry attempt at capturing the first film's comic book feel. With an hour of uninteresting, scareless stories book-ended by nonsense, this might overtake Children of the Corn II as the worst horror movie I've ever seen.
Rating for Style: F
Rating for Substance: F
|Aspect Ratio||1.85:1 - Widescreen|
|Original Aspect Ratio||yes|
Image Transfer Review: The 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation features sharp-enough detailed images that make the super generic special effects stand out even more. The color palette is generally muted, but certain hues spring to life at times. There aren't any issues with contrast or black levels, and dirt and grain are kept in check.
Image Transfer Grade: C
Audio Transfer Review: The Dolby Digital 2.0 track doesn't help the film out at all, in that the incredibly annoying score is featured prominently on it. This music belongs in a circus and almost single-handedly kills any chance of a creepy mood for a given scene. The rest of the audio aspects are fine, with a decent surround presence and crisp dialogue throughout.
Audio Transfer Grade: C
Disc ExtrasStatic menu with music
Scene Access with 12 cues and remote access
Subtitles/Captions in English, French, Spanish with remote access
Packaging: Keep Case
Extras Review: The only extra is a behind-the-scenes piece that lasts just over 24 minutes. This informative piece covers everything about the production, blending a ton of on-set footage with cast and crew interviews. I could have done without most of the participants talking about how good their work is, but you're going to get more entertainment out of this than the film itself.
Extras Grade: C-
Final CommentsA complete waste of time, Creepshow III is a clinic on how not to make a movie, how not to act, and is just plain laughable. HBO's DVD is nothing spectacular either, delivering average audio and video presentations.
Chuck Aliaga 2007-07-06